Personal thoughts and memories from my time in Swaziland

Part one...

I have travelled to many different countries and seen some really beautiful places, but there are a few places that I have been to that will stay in my heart forever, Swaziland is definately one of those places. When we arrived I was overwhelmed by the scenery. Lush green trees and bush, along with red soil, covered the mountainous landscape. The more we travelled, the more beauty we saw. Looking out of our vehicle, as we clung on to our seats due to the bumpy dirt roads, which were full of potholes, it was as if time stood still.  The sun was shining and big fluffy white clouds were scattered in the blue sky. The air was fresh and there was a sense of peace, a tranquil quietness. I felt relaxed as we drove along the dirt roads. Beautiful smiles were everywhere to be seen, women carrying babies on their backs and very heavy objects on their heads. Everyone waved as we drove by. It was like another world, it is another world.   

We travelled for what seemed like forever, up and down dirt roads, at some points I wasn't sure our vehicle would make it. It felt like we were going deeper and deeper into the remotest parts of this beautiful land, we were. We finally got out, in what looked like the middle of nowhere and were taken to a child run homestead, basically a couple of mud huts, that if I leant up against them, looked as though they would fall down. This was the home of 3 children, the eldest being 16 years old. The parents had died four years previously leaving 3 children to fend for themselves, the eldest child was 12 at the time.  I stood there, frozen, as I heard the story. I felt sick in my stomach and turned away from the situation to look at the hills. "God, where are you in this?" That was my question. I looked to the hills, knowing that our hope, provision and protection comes from the One who created this beautiful scenery. I felt the cool breeze against my tear stained cheeks, and although what I was seeing made no sense to me at all, I felt it my heart, that God was there, He was right there with these children. 

Amidst the stunning scenery, peaceful mountainous landscape, and beautiful smiling faces, we are all too soon aware of the hurt, pain, poverty and injustice that is so prevalent in this land. We drove many kilometres and visited many homes. Everyone had the same story, heart ache and loss, devastation and despair, hurt and pain. And yet while there was such sadness and poverty, there was a fervent hope and trust in God. Faith that is so real, it puts us in the western world to shame. Faith that refuses to be brought down with the circumstances, but continues to trust God right in the middle of need and lack. A faith that cries out to God for basic needs (food and water) to be met. A faith that is able to smile in the storm, to keep going when it would be easy to stop, to keep standing when it would be easier to fall, and to keep giving when there is nothing to give.

We walked up the mountain with the sun scorching down on us, it was so hot, and there weren't even any trees nearby for us to enjoy the shade. My mouth was dry and every step I took I felt like I needed to take in an extra breath of air. I was hot, boiling in fact and felt so drained from the heat that day. I carried a little bag with me which had my water bottle, camera, a packet of mints and tissues and an energy bar, I was aware that my tiny bag was full of luxuries and things to help me deal with the heat. As I grabbed my water bottle to have a quick sip, I was all too aware that the majority of people we met, did not even have the luxury of drinking clean, safe water. Water is a basic human need. Without water you die. These beautiful people have to walk miles, up and down mountains, to collect water, and when they find it, the water is usually dirty as they collect it from a stream, that has algi and all other sorts of water Bourne infections. I took a big gulp of my fresh water, so grateful to have my thirst quenched, but also feeling so guilty that I was privileged to drink clean, safe water while those around me weren't.

We arrived at a lady's home. This home did not have a fence to defend the property, and from what I could see there were no crops anywhere. I also noticed there was hardly any shade. We were welcomed in, and the mats were laid out for us to sit on. We sat down and there was silence, I looked at the beautiful woman sat before us, she was quiet and shy, but when I caught her eye, she gave me a beautiful smile. Her eyes looked gentle and kind. I wasn't sure why, but I felt like I connected with her. Neither of us could speak the others language, but we all smile in the same language. We smiled at each other, and it was probably one of the most precious and beautiful smiles I have shared in my life. Neither of us had spoken a word, but I felt like we both just knew. The heat was so strong that day, and the usual cool breeze was absent, leaving me feeling exhausted and slightly irritated at my self that I was feeling so drained. We talked through the interpreter, who was a beautiful 26 year old girl who visited this home on a regular basis to offer love, care and support, and heard the ladies story. It broke my heart. She spoke slowly and quietly, with a deep sadness in her eyes, but each time she looked at us, she smiled. I could see she was so happy and overwhelmed that we had come. She told us how her husband had walked out on her about four months previously, and she didn't know where he was or if he was ever coming back. He had left her with 3 children to care for. The pain in her eyes, caused a lump to come in my throat, I felt the sting of tears in my eyes, and found myself staring at the ground while she told the rest of her story. She told how her sister had remarried and that in Swazi culture the woman cannot take any children from a previous marriage into the new one. So this beautiful lady, in the midst of her need, her lack, her pain, her poverty, her desperation, had lovingly taken her now 15 year old niece in. She had gotten her into the local school and although she was in class with children half her age, due to absence from school for a long time, she was happy and was learning lots. This lady was also a victim of HIV and was often sick. As I intently listened to this beautiful and strong woman's story, I was all too aware of the recent pain and trauma in my own life. Two women, from different parts of the world, in different circumstances, yet both experience unjust situations. Although my hurt and pain was completely different to this beautiful ladies, injustice is injustice, however it looks. I felt empathy for this lady and wished more than ever that we could speak the same language, but I was reminded of the smile we shared together at the start of the home visit and my heart was stilled. My heart was so touched to meet this amazing lady, in her deepest darkest pain and in her poverty and lack, she was not only caring for her own children to the best of her ability, but she had also taken in another child, another mouth to feed, another child's school fees and uniform to find. She wasn't giving and being generous out of her overflow, which so many of us in western culture do (which, I believe is not actually true and pure generosity), she was giving out of her lack. She did not have the crops or resources to feed the mouths of her and her own children, yet her hope and trust was in the God who had brought her this far, and who she knew would not abandon her. We offered to pray for the lady and she immediately got on her knees. We surrounded her on the mat she was knelt on and I knelt down beside her and rubbed her back and shoulders. This lady was in her forties, yet when I put my hands on her back, I felt muscles that were so strong. I was aware that this lady was carrying a load that was too much for her to bear, yet she was determined to give of her absolute best, and more, for the sake of the children in her care. As we prayed for her, she prayed too. Although I could not understand the language she spoke, I knew she was calling out to God to provide and protect her family. She was asking God to give her more strength to endure what was before her. She begged God for the lives of her children. She asked Him to meet their needs and she thanked Him, yes, she thanked Him from the bottom of her heart that He was with them and He was their provider. After we prayed I hugged her, we hugged and hugged and hugged, we both held on to each other tightly. It was a precious moment for me. Although we did not speak, we were both aware that in the midst of pain, heartache and hurt, God was with us. Through the traumatic situations we both had faced in our lives, on opposite sides of the world, we knew that God was near. We trusted Him with our lives and although we had both experienced unjust situations,  we knew that our God was a God of justice and He was for us. As we broke away from our hug, she kissed my neck. It was precious and it was purposeful. This lady touched my heart and I will never forget her. She inspired me beyond words and I know that God sees her and He will greatly reward her. It was wonderful to meet her adopted niece later that day at the care centre and eat a meal with her. She was taller than me and loved to dance and play ball games. I told her that we had visited her aunties home and she beamed from ear to ear and ran around telling her friends. I'm so grateful for that lady for caring for those children. For not giving up, for being generous, for standing strong, for trusting God, and for having a real and genuine faith. Although I left that home heartbroken at the situation, I also left full of peace and joy, knowing that God sees her and He will provide.

We pulled up outside another house, there were squeals of sheer joy coming from the homestead and I noticed a cloud of red dust arising. As we walked towards the mud huts, the joy and laughter got louder and louder and soon we were greeted by a gorgeous 12 year old girl rolling, faster than I had ever seen anyone roll, across the red dirt ground to meet us. She was born with cerebral palsy and has never been able to walk or speak. She was so excited to see us, and couldn't stop herself from laughing and rolling, rolling, rolling! We took her over to the other side of their yard where there was a built in wooden walking frame for her to practice walking. It was made of trees and was amazing! She held onto the sides, all the time laughing, consistently, and looking around to make sure we were all watching her. She walked up and back with even more smiles and laughter and we applauded her each time she took a step. The thing that struck me about this little girl was the sheer joy that was radiating out from her heart. It was fullness of joy. Here she was, living in a remote place, in one of the poorest communities  in the world, living in sheer poverty, without access to safe water and most of the time struggling for food, she is unable to walk or talk, her circumstances are pretty grim, yet she is so happy. She is grateful for the simple things in her life. She is grateful to the GoGo who lovingly looks after her, grateful to the other children in the house who can help encourage her to walk, between doing their chores, grateful that some people from England stopped by just to say hello. A beautiful precious little girl, an angel, an overcomer, a hero. Visiting this house could have hardened our hearts, could have shattered our spirits, instead, her joy encouraged us and caused our aching hearts to sing. We left thanking God for the supernatural joy that was rooted in that beautiful child's heart and we prayed that it would overflow to her family and her community.